Disappointment brings many awakenings…

After a long, arduous road, I finally thought I had a  buyer interested in my apartment. I had had it on the market for over a year, and have come close to selling it before. This time I felt different. The third time’s the charm, so they say. I had had enough of single life in the dog-eat- dog city of Manhattan and was eager to make a clean break from the city and find me a nice cowboy to rustle up.

Finally, There was a woman who was seriously interested in the apartment. She had come several times to view it and seemed about to give her final “I do”. The realtor was elated and already signing checks for her new tiara.

I couldn’t help dreaming about how I would decorate my new pad, and  enjoy the new chapter I felt  was about to begin. I felt that finally there was a light at the end of the tunnel, or in my case the Lincoln Tunnel. I have always believed that once a person graduates from a lesson, you move on to the next level or chapter in your life. The experiences and lessons over the last 10 years have been life changing. I have learned about self-worth and forgiveness, met interesting characters along the way, and that it was now time to move forward to new adventures. Graduation day had come, or at least I thought so…

As I sat on the couch with a celebratory cocktail, I got the phone call. The call that blind-sighted me, and destroyed “ My Plan” that had been pulled out from underneath me. The buyer, that had been looking quite seriously for a month decided not to buy.

Was this a cruel joke? Am I being punished? Of course, my Catholic upbringing had crept into my head. Is this payback for not always being forthcoming with people, or maybe it’s payback for stealing a barrette and a pack of KitKats at Caldor’s when I was 11?

I started to feel like Nancy Karrigan after she was shin-whipped by Tanya Harding’s goon ex-husband. Except I was not on an ice ring, I was on my couch with an empty bottle of wine and a half eaten piece of Bonnie Bell cheese. “ Why now, Why me, Why me? After an hourlong pity party for one. I began to realize that the blubbering wasn’t getting me anywhere. I began to understand that in life, your plan may not always parallel God’s plan. That said, this was the beginning of my awakening and many ‘aha” moments to follow.

In time, I started to appreciate and make peace with where I am in my life, and to create new experiences right now. I was not ready to give up, so in the meantime, I decided to see my situation in a new light.

I began to adjust my lens and look at this as more of a blessing, to look straight ahead, and  focus on my strengths. Literally, I started to get a life. I stopped waiting for good things to happen, when in fact I already had many blessings. 

As the month unfolded, I enrolled in a writing class that I  had been putting off, and started to bloom where I was planted,  right here in one of the greatest cities in the world. 

Not selling my apartment, is what prompted me to create this Blog so I can inspire, and enlighten, and encourage myself and hopefully others who share a similar condition: LIFE. No one knows what the   future holds, but to be in the moment and being is all we have. My Mantra for tonight: "God's delays are not God's denials... zzzz"

Please feel free to add any of your own experiences, or input as you wish.

Thank you for reading and stay tuned…